Second Best Wife Read online

  Adam looked about to say yes, then shook his head. 'You're my wife, Julia. I don't want you getting your roles mixed.'

  Crossing over to the hotplate on the bamboo trolley, he helped himself to some grilled kidneys and bacon before sitting at the table, taking a chair that gave him a view of the terrace and garden.

  'This is considerably nicer than the other dining room,' he said. 'I feel as if I'm in the country.'

  'I'm surprised you don't have a place out of town.' 'This was enough for me to cope with when I was on my own. But it might be worth considering now. Perhaps you'd like to start looking around?'

  'Don't buy anything just because I suggested it,' Julia said hastily.

  'You know me better than that. I never do anything unless I really want to. No, I think we should have a second house. And a good-sized one, too.'

  Julia guessed he was thinking of the future and the family he hoped to have, and she felt herself blushing. To hide her embarrassment, she bent and picked up Princess and placed her on her lap.

  'What part of the country would you like?' she asked evenly.

  'Somewhere not more than an hour's drive from London, and on a motorway.'

  'Houses like that are expensive.'

  'I work hard in order to afford expensive things,' he replied, and mentioned a price range that took her breath away. 'Just because Erica didn't find me rich enough, it doesn't mean I'm a pauper.'

  'I'll start contacting the estate agents today,' Julia said stiltedly. 'But don't expect as quick a result as we had with the breakfast room.'

  'I won't. Take your time with it, my dear. Finding a house and furnishing it should be an interesting occupation for you.'

  'To keep me busy till we can furnish it with babies,' she said tartly.

  His lips tightened. 'I promised I wouldn't keep you to our bargain, but we'll never have a chance of happiness if you're constantly on the defensive with me.'

  'I know,' she sighed. 'But has it crossed your mind that even if we eventually have a normal marriage, I mightn't be able to have children?'

  'Or perhaps I cannot,' he answered quietly. 'But if that were the case, we'd adopt.'

  'You think of everything.'

  'It's part of my training.' He glanced at his watch. 'I must be off. I've a busy day ahead of me, and I'm afraid I'm out to dinner again tonight.'

  'That will be the fourth time in a fortnight!' she exclaimed.

  'I know, and I'm terribly sorry. I've made a vow that from now on I'll only dine out if it's really urgent. I feel guilty at leaving you so much on your own.' 'I'm beginning to think it's what you prefer.' Adam rose and came over to her, placing his hand beneath her chin. 'I like being with you, Julia—more than I can tell you. But some clients only have time to see me in the evenings, and I've always given in to them. But from now on I won't do it—even if I lose them.'

  'Don't lose any clients on my account,' she answered. 'I shouldn't have said anything to you, Adam. I'm sorry.' 'I'm not. I'm glad you did.' His hand dropped from her chin to rest on her shoulder. 'Treat me as you would a real husband, Julia. It's what I want.' Swiftly he bent and pressed his mouth to the soft skin at the side of her throat. 'You smell delicious,' he whispered, then straightened and walked out.

  The feel of Adam's mouth on her skin lingered long after he had gone, and Julia was vaguely disturbed by it. Living with Adam was like sitting on a see-saw—one moment up and the next down. The only certain thing was that she could not get off. She was Adam's wife and had committed herself to him. But what would happen after four years when Erica inherited Kenneth's money and was free to remarry? Would she still want Adam and, more important, would he still want her? He maintained that he wouldn't, and to prove it had made a loveless marriage. But he might well feel differently when the time came to actually make a choice, particularly once Erica was free to pressurise him.

  Despondently Julia returned to her bedroom. What could she do with herself today, now that the breakfast room was finished? A few phone calls to estate agents, perhaps, and then some shopping. If only she had a job. When she had been obliged to go to the office every day she had hankered for a time of limitless leisure, but now all she longed for was the opportunity to work.

  At ten o'clock she wandered across to the boutique in Sloane Street, where she had bought some clothes a few weeks previously. The owner was already in and she tried on several outfits and bought three, not batting an eyelid when the bill came to more than she would have spent on clothes in a year, when she was single. I'm developing the mentality of the idle rich, she thought wryly as she left the shop. The idle and discontented rich.

  Lunching at the snack counter at Fortnum & Masons, she passed an hour studying everyone around her. Elegant, middle-aged women were talking in loud upper-class voices to their friends and daughters; the girls being mostly of an awkward age, obviously having left the classroom recently. A few were dressed in way-out clothes, with hair to match, but even they spoke in the same ringing tones as their mothers.

  Feeling like a fish out of water, Julia was glad to escape to the bustle of Bond Street, where she eventually gravitated to the beautifully filled windows of Aspreys. This was where the rich sheiks from Saudi Arabia and the Gulf States did their shopping, buying thousand-pound watches as carelessly as if they were Woolworth trinkets. As she eyed a lavish alligator and gold weekend case, its interior fitted with real gold-capped bottles, she became aware of the reflection of a man in the window pane. He was looking at her and she half turned, astonished to see Roy. 'I thought it was you,' he stammered, a pink flush marking his pale skin. 'I rang you at your office this morning, but the switchboard said you'd left, and I was going to call you at home this evening.'

  'You wouldn't have found me there, either,' she replied. 'I moved three months ago.'

  Although she was managing to talk with composure, Julia was shocked by her encounter with him, and wondered why he looked so different from the way she remembered: he was shorter and thinner; almost weedy when compared with the broad-shouldered Adam.

  'I thought you were in Canada,' she went on.

  'I came back two days ago. Things didn't work out and my firm decided they wanted me in London.' Roy avoided Julia's eyes. 'My engagement didn't work out either, which is why I wanted to see you. I was a fool, Julia. I don't know how I could have behaved the way I did. It was inexcusable, so I won't bother trying to defend it, but I've come to my senses now and I'll do everything in my power to get you back.'

  Julia heard Roy out, though it was as if she were listening to a stranger. Could this thin, pale-faced man be the one she had loved so desperately a bare few months ago? It seemed incredible, yet she knew it was.

  'Say it isn't too late for us,' he pleaded. 'I'll understand if you don't want to get engaged to me yet, but if you'll let me see you, perhaps in time…'

  'I'm afraid not,' Julia said quietly, holding out her hand to show him her wedding ring. 'It's too late, Roy.' Stupefied, he stared at it.

  'It didn't take you long to find someone else,' he said finally, in a choked voice. 'Longer than it took you.'

  He had the grace to look ashamed. 'I deserved that, Julia. I suppose you must hate me?'

  Julia shook her head. 'Hating someone takes up too much of one's energy. Besides, it's pointless for us to be enemies.'

  'I was my own worst enemy,' he admitted. 'Letting you go was the most crassly stupid thing I've done in my life.' He hesitated. 'I wish I could go on talking to you, but I'm already late for an appointment with my chairman. I don't suppose there's any chance of us meeting?'

  'I'm at a loose end tonight, as it so happens. My husband has a business dinner.' Even as she spoke, Julia wondered why she had agreed to his suggestion. But it was too late to go back on it, for Roy looked delighted.

  'That's great! Really great. If you give me your address I'll come and collect you.'

  'It might be better if we met at Carlo's,' she said, naming an Italian restaurant where they had
frequently eaten. 'Is eight o'clock all right?'

  'I'll be counting the hours,' Roy replied, and dashed across the road to grab a vacant taxi.

  Julia turned back to Aspreys' window, but she was no longer in the mood to look at luxury trifles and decided to return home.

  Relaxing in the bath, she was assailed by guilt for having agreed to meet Roy, and forcefully reminded herself that Adam had no compunction about going out with Erica. It was this knowledge which spurred her into wearing an elegant black chiffon dress instead of the casual crepe she had earlier decided on. After all, why shouldn't she look her best when dining with her ex-fiancé? And if Adam saw her when she returned home, so much the better.

  She arrived at Carlo's shortly after the agreed hour to find Roy already waiting at a table. He too had taken pains to look his best, and his light grey suit, obviously American in its styling, made him look much more attractive than the usual dark conservative clothes he favoured. Yet he still didn't compare with Adam. Damn it, she thought angrily, I've got to stop thinking of that man.

  'I was half afraid you'd change your mind,' Roy smiled, pulling out a chair for her.

  'I nearly did,' she confessed. 'But then it seemed silly.' 'I'd have understood. I acted like a swine and I know it.'

  'It still didn't stop you from doing it,' she said dryly, and seeing him colour, knew they couldn't go on raking over the past. 'Let's not talk about what happened,' she continued briskly. 'If we do, I'll only say something hurtful.'

  'Is that because you still care for me?' 'Not at all. I have no feelings for you whatever.' Her answer came out spontaneously, and only as it did did Julia realise exactly how she felt about Roy. She didn't love him, and with hindsight she knew she never had. What on earth could she have seen in this precise, pedantic man, with his fussy ways and narrow outlook?

  'I appreciate why you're saying this, Julia,' Roy spoke stiffly, 'but I don't believe it. One doesn't stop loving someone merely because one wants to. I'm not being smug, my dear, but I'm pretty sure you married on the rebound.'

  'Much as I don't want to disappoint you, I'm afraid you're wrong. Soon after you jilted me, I realised that what I'd felt for you would never have been strong enough for us to have had a successful marriage.'

  'You were willing to become my wife.'

  'Only because I was running away from deeper feelings.'

  'And you aren't any more?'

  'No.'

  'What made you stop?'

  'I'm not sure,' Julia said slowly.

  'Who's the lucky man you did marry?' Roy asked in hurt tones. 'It's quite obvious you've fallen in love with him.'

  Julia almost told him she was in love with no one, until she remembered Adam's desire for everyone to believe their marriage was normal, so she shrugged and said casually: 'Adam Lester.'

  'Adam Lester!' Roy's voice was so loud with astonishment that people at the surrounding tables stared at them. 'Adam Lester,' he repeated, lowering his voice. 'Now I see why you forgot me so quickly! I bet you were in love with him all along.'

  Again Julia wondered whether to tell him the truth about her marriage, but decided against it.

  'When did you discover he was in love with you?' Roy, demanded.

  'One can't always pinpoint the exact moment of falling in love,' she hedged. 'You should know that. Let's just say it happened.'

  'Does he know about me?'

  'Of course. It was when he discovered you'd jilted me that he started seeing me as a woman instead of simply his secretary.'

  'You mean I've only myself to blame? Oh, Julia, what a fool I've been! You're more beautiful than ever. Different, too.' His glance took in the stylish cut of her dress, from which her satin-smooth shoulders rose. 'More beautiful than ever,' he repeated. 'And I still love you.' . 'Then you should stop.' Julia marvelled she could be so unmoved by his declaration. 'I'm married now and I'm not looking for any intrigues.'

  'Nor am I,' he said swiftly. 'I'm not the type.'

  This was so true that Julia nearly laughed. 'Tell me about Toronto,' she said quickly. 'And why your love affair went wrong.'

  'She wasn't the girl I thought. At first she seemed everything I'd dreamed of—pretty, gentle, quiet. But she soon turned from Jekyll into Hyde. With you, it was the reverse. You look exotic and demanding but you're really the most docile of girls.'

  'I'm not sure I find that particularly flattering,' Julia smiled. 'Although I know you mean it as a compliment.'

  Roy looked somewhat put out, but did not argue. 'Tell me about yourself,' he said instead. 'I take it you've no regrets?'

  'What a question to ask a newly married woman! Of course I haven't. I couldn't be happier.'

  Once again Roy looked hurt, but he regained his self-control and started to tell her about his life and work in Canada. He had never been a scintillating conversationalist, but when talking about business he had a serious and intelligent point of view, and managed to hold Julia's interest for several hours.

  With a start she realised it was after eleven o'clock and hurriedly pushed back her chair. 'I'd better be going, or Adam will wonder where I am.'

  'I won't ask if I can see you again,' Roy murmured a little later as he stopped the car outside the house in Chester Street. 'But if you'd like us to meet, you know where to find me.'

  'Don't stay in for my call.' She smiled to take the sting out of her reply. 'It might be better if we didn't see one another again—better for you, I mean.'

  'I doubt that' He got out of the car and accompanied her to the front door. 'I'm feeling very sorry for myself right now, but if you're happy in your marriage, then I'm delighted for you.' Leaning forward, he kissed her on the cheek. 'Take care of yourself—and don't forget I'm always available if you need me.'

  Julia let herself into the hall. It was in darkness except for a light which made a small pool of radiance on the staircase. Careful not to make a noise, she went up to her room and quietly closed the door. Almost at once there was a loud rap on it, and with heart beating fast, she opened it again.

  Adam glared down at her from the threshold, his dark red dressing gown making him look slightly sinister, as did the icy glitter in his eyes.

  'Where have you been?' he demanded.

  'Out to dinner with a friend. A man,' she added.

  'Couldn't you have left word with Emilio? I've been waiting up for you for hours.' Adam's eyes moved involuntarily towards the window and she guessed he had seen her arrive home.

  'Spying on me?' she asked frigidly.

  'You weren't in when I got back, so when I heard a car draw up, I naturally looked out to see if it was you. It was late and I was worried.'

  'It's not yet midnight. But thanks for being concerned.'

  'Who was it?' he asked.

  'Roy. My—the man I was supposed to marry.'

  'You mean the one who jilted you to marry someone else?'

  'He didn't in the end. Things went wrong for him and he returned to England.'

  'And no doubt would like to return to you? Is that why you went out with him—because you still fancy him?'

  'Don't be silly, Adam—I bumped into him in Bond Street at lunchtime today, and he asked if he could see me again. As I was free tonight…'

  'You didn't waste much time, did you?'

  'Would you rather I'd stayed in by myself?'

  'You're damn right I would!'

  Stung by Adam's tone, Julia felt her temper rise. 'There was no harm in my going out with Roy. You're being ridiculously old-fashioned!'

  'Because I object to my bride being seen out with another man?'

  So that was why he was angry. Adam didn't really mind her seeing Roy. What he objected to was other people seeing it. His damn pride again!

  'Next time I'll have dinner with him in his flat,' she said icily. 'Then we won't be seen and your pride won't be hurt.'

  'I've no intention of allowing you to see him again anywhere,' he snapped. 'You're my wife and you'll behave as such.'

/>   'You're being absurd. I suggest you go to bed and that we talk about it tomorrow, when you're less tired.'

  'Don't dismiss me as if I'm a child!' Adam came further into the room, but Julia ignored him and, turning to the dressing table, took off her earrings and then went into the bathroom.

  Hearing no further sound from the bedroom, she assumed he had left, and with trembling fingers she undressed, put on her nightdress and returned to the bedroom. Only then did she see Adam still standing there.

  'I want to talk about Roy tonight, Julia, not tomorrow.' His voice was clipped. 'I'm not giving you time to think up some excuse for seeing him.'

  'I don't need an excuse,' she said angrily, reaching for her dressing gown. 'I told you why I saw Roy, so stop looking at me as though I'm a fallen woman!'

  'I'm looking at my wife,' Adam said harshly. 'Do you know what time I came home tonight? Ten o'clock. And I brought Frank Carter with me, too.' 'Frank Carter?'

  'The client with whom I had dinner. I wanted him to meet you. You can imagine how I felt when Emilio told me you were dining out. I had to pretend I'd forgotten.' 'I was going to a concert anyway, remember? But I don't see why you needed to pretend you hadn't remembered. I'm not in purdah, and if I'm left alone and I want to go out, I will.'

  'Not with other men, though. I won't stand for that.' Knowing Adam's temperament, Julia could appreciate why he was angry. It must have been embarrassing in the extreme, to bring a client home to meet his loving bride and find her absent from the nest.

  'The whole thing was just unfortunate,' she said in a placatory tone. 'I'm sure Mr Carter won't think you're a cuckolded husband, because I wasn't here to welcome him.'

  'That remark is in very poor taste,' Adam snapped. 'And why make it anyway? Or is that what you and your ex-fiancé intend making of me?'

  Julia's smile held more than a hint of sarcasm. 'Be careful what you say, Adam, or I may think you're jealous.'

  'That's exactly what I am! You're my wife and I won't let anyone else have you. One woman has already made a fool of me, and it's not going to happen again.'

  With a swift movement he stepped forward and caught her by the arms. Before she could even try to break away, he pushed her up against the bed.